Indian IT office lives are unlike any other, the rules of the outside world seldom applies and the internal ones are a mystery to an outsider or anyone starting their career. These rules are not documented in any employee handbook or company policies but knowing them is essential for survival in this industry. Here’s a tounge-in-cheek guide to help you with some of them to navigate the Indian IT offices.
1. The Late Worker Syndrome
“It’s not about how much work you do; it’s about how long you look like you’re working.” Staying late with or without work (at least until your manager leaves) is essential to get you that ‘Pat on the back‘ award or an ‘A’ for committment and hardwork during the appraisals. It doesn’t matter if half of the times you are paying your utility bills or checking your portfolio during those late hours.
Pro tip: Keep a code editor open all times and appear deep in thought or better still make that the screensaver.
2. “Yes” Boss – The Success Mantra
SRK taught this to us a long time ago and it holds true in IT more so. When the boss asks for an urgent (unnecessary) report , or proposes a new feature or deadline that defies all logic, the correct answer is, “Yes, Boss.” Then panic in private. Saying “No” is a taboo in the industry whereas not completing it after agreeing is an acceptable norm.
Pro tip: Clients are bosses too, for all their demands learn to diplomatically say, “We’ll try,” which roughly translates to, “This is impossible, but you aren’t going to understand if I tell you that.”
3. Be an Excel & PowerPoint Master
Forget AI, machine learning, Project plan, or any other fancy tools and buzzwords. The real power in an Indian IT office lies in the knowledge of Microsoft Excel and PowerPoint. Know your pivot tables, conditional formatting, VLOOKUPs, Creating decks with charts & graphs. Mastering Excel and PowerPoint makes you a superstar, even if you’re technically a developer.
Pro tip: Don’t question why the entire project plan is in an Excel sheet instead of proper project management software. It just is.
4. Be the Antakshari & Rangoli King
Learn them songs for Antakshari, to paint your diyas and the art of rangoli to blend in with the ‘cultural’ folks in the company. Only then you will be considered a good team player and contributing ‘beyond work area‘ . The culture and team bonding in IT companies are defined by such events.
Pro tip: Participating in such events is a great way to be in the good books of HR as most such ideas come from that department.
5. “It Works on My Machine” Defense
Despite all the hard work your team mates or leads will do stupid checkins and merges rendering your code non-functional. Don’t shy away from using the “It works on my machine” defense. Even the respectable developer has the right use it.
Pro tip: Make sure to get your code piece reviewed or tested once to ensure that you are not the one who did the stupid checkin.
6. Survive the “Chai & Sutta Breaks”
Tea and sutta breaks are less about that and more about catching up on the office grapevine. This is where you’ll learn about office gossip, who’s swtching companies, who’s angling for a promotion, and are we getting the appraisals this year or not?
Pro tip: Do contribute with some harmless gossip and your views about the everything but leave those views there like the stubbed out cigarette.
7. Be Wary of the Sick Leaves
Sick leaves could often mean team member attending job interviews. The more the sick leaves, the more desparately the team member is looking out for a new job.
Pro tip: Be wary of the inreasing sick leaves of any team member. Have a one-on-one chat and if not convinced by his reasoning, start preparing for his backup.
8. The “Jugaad” Mindset
Jugaad (creative problem-solving) is the lifeblood of every Indian and the motto of every Indian IT office. Fix the bug/problem fast, don’t bother fixing it properly. Just fix the problem for now and move on. You’ll get to it during the “next sprint” (read: never).
Pro tip: Always have a backup for your backup plan. You’ll need it.
9. The “Release Eve Frenzy”
The day before a big release is the culmination of the all the project efforts. There will be frantic debugging, addressing missed requirements, testing that never tested module, begging the network department for support and a whole lot of optimisim. Even if the project had months of preparation, all the real work happens in the last 24 hours.
Pro tip: Focus on making it work on production. Don’t feel guilty about it not being tested enough (it never is).
10. The Exit Interview Gambit
When a colleague resigns, the usual questions are: “Which company? How much package?” It’s an unofficial exploration and benchmarking exercise for everyone else planning their escape route.
Pro tip: If you’re the one leaving, be vague. “Better opportunities, Multiple offers” are the safest answer.
Final Words of Wisdom
Surviving an Indian IT office is as much about work as it is about navigating the social, and cultural intricacies of office life. Learn the lingo, keep your chai game strong, and remember: no problem is too big that it can’t be postponed until the next sprint. Good luck!